It is the end of an era. In September 1999, my current room mate and I decided to move in together. I was just moving out for the first time. When I purchased my house a few years later, she moved there with me. Last night I came home to a considerable amount of garbage in my garage. My first thought was "Jen is moving out." As I walked through the house, I noticed things that were missing: Her cook books, some kitchen supplies, some linens. I was quite certain I knew what was going on. A few emails later, my suspicions were confirmed. Jen is moving out.
I saw this coming. I am surprised it took so long. That said, I cannot deny that I panicked just a bit. I worry about how I will cope mentally living on my own, even though in the past few months she has barely been there. I worry about how I will manage from a financial point of view. If truth be told, I was a bit frantic.
In the midst of my panic attack God reminded me of words that just days ago I spoke to a dear friend in the midst of her own crisis. I was a bit embarrassed by my reaction. How could I have had an eternal perspective until it had to do with my own reality? I believed those words then, why did I not believe them now? How could I think that God would provide for this dear friend, but He would not provide for me? I needed to change my attitude here. And that is what happened: God changed my attitude.
I am sad that Jen is leaving. We have lived together for 8 years! We are common-law! There is going to be a custody battle! "Whose dish is that?" But I have to believe that this is all a part of His plan. His PERFECT plan. I knew this day would come, but God knew when this day would come. I have to believe that He will do something good with this.
I am also sad because of the example I have been to her. Or should I say, the example I have not been to her. For most of the time that we have lived together, I have lived out my faith as close to the world as I could. I have regrets. In the past year that has changed. But in the past year, we have not see a whole lot of each other. I just have to hope and pray that as our friendship continues, she will see more and more of the woman that God is changing me in to.
So... it is the end of an era. Guess we will all have to stay tuned to see what He has in store for me next! I hope that part of what He has in store might include someone tall dark and handsome! For now, perhaps I will have to settle for a furry friend.
I saw this coming. I am surprised it took so long. That said, I cannot deny that I panicked just a bit. I worry about how I will cope mentally living on my own, even though in the past few months she has barely been there. I worry about how I will manage from a financial point of view. If truth be told, I was a bit frantic.
In the midst of my panic attack God reminded me of words that just days ago I spoke to a dear friend in the midst of her own crisis. I was a bit embarrassed by my reaction. How could I have had an eternal perspective until it had to do with my own reality? I believed those words then, why did I not believe them now? How could I think that God would provide for this dear friend, but He would not provide for me? I needed to change my attitude here. And that is what happened: God changed my attitude.
I am sad that Jen is leaving. We have lived together for 8 years! We are common-law! There is going to be a custody battle! "Whose dish is that?" But I have to believe that this is all a part of His plan. His PERFECT plan. I knew this day would come, but God knew when this day would come. I have to believe that He will do something good with this.
I am also sad because of the example I have been to her. Or should I say, the example I have not been to her. For most of the time that we have lived together, I have lived out my faith as close to the world as I could. I have regrets. In the past year that has changed. But in the past year, we have not see a whole lot of each other. I just have to hope and pray that as our friendship continues, she will see more and more of the woman that God is changing me in to.
So... it is the end of an era. Guess we will all have to stay tuned to see what He has in store for me next! I hope that part of what He has in store might include someone tall dark and handsome! For now, perhaps I will have to settle for a furry friend.
Don't you want to eat me?!?!?
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